Blind date
Seaman Smeg, 39
I have been a sailor all my life…...
Ho! ho! ho! And a bottle of rum, look at my tattoos and not my bum!.
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Nobby Head, 41
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I’m a self employed travel writer whose absolute joy in life is to knit a little doll in the flag colours of the country I have just visited.
Seaman on Nobby:
What were you hoping for?
What drives me absolutely wild with desire is long ‘beach blonde’ hair. Tied back into a ponytail.
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First impressions?
His hair is BLACK! But very impressive firm pecs!!
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What did you talk about?
Well, I talked about cars, beer, football, rugby and how to light your farts.
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Any awkward moments?
Yeah ! When I asked if he ever thought about growing and dying his hair. He burst into tears.
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Good table manners?
I don’t know, I just keep my head down when I have grub in front of me and shovel it in my gob.
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Best thing about Nobby?
He’s got a beautiful smile
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Would you introduce him to your friends?
I don’t have friends …….. I have team mates …….. Mate!
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Describe Nobby in a few words
Lord only knows what world he’s from!
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What do you think he made of you?
“Man ! PURE MAN!
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If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Length and colour of his hair.
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Marks out of 10?
4 ? No 5 I’ll give him 5
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Would you meet again?
Definitely! he said he would knit me a ‘look a like’ rugby doll in the team colours - nice one mate.
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Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@PallattWoodStudios.com
Nobby on Seaman:
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What were you hoping for?
“Someone who is not macho, who is kind, caring and enjoys travel and that we have something in common”.
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First impressions?
“Well, I did think ouch! This will be a new experience!”
What did you talk about?
“ I wanted to talk about travel, my knitting group but, well……. To be honest I felt a bit ‘man-spladed’ on any subject I tried to raise”.
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Any awkward moments?
“No ……..no……… I don’t think so?”
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Good table manners?
NO! He has NOT! …… I’ve never known anybody swallow a whole lamb shank in one gulp!!!!
Best thing about Seaman?
“Nothing really! but strangely very, very appealing!
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Would you introduce him to your friends?
Definitely not! He’d stand out like a ‘pimple on ya winkle’ at my knitting circle!
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Describe Seaman in a few words
Butch, rugged and tattooed…….. yummy?..I DON’T think so!
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What do you think they made of you?
I think he really liked my hair - he was staring at it a lot!
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If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
That he actually chewed his food before swallowing it!.
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Marks out of 10?
4
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Would you meet again?
I’m leaving the door open.
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